|The End is Nigh...|
| With today's 'toon, I mark the first day of the last year I'll be doing this strip regularly. I've done a lot soul searching and quite frankly I've got other things I need to move on to. It's been a very long ride and I'm tired. I don't want to miss all of my kid's growing up and all those little things a regular (unpaid) strip cuts into.
A lot of it though... I'm not the same person I was when I started. I still have a very dark sense of humor, but I've grown (unfortunately?) more conscious of my work. I still have stories to tell, which is why I can't drop it just yet, but this will be the last year of regular posting from Free Range Comics. I can't tell you how much the support I've received over the years means to me and I hope I can retain that support for other projects in the future. I really do love you, my Meatlings. More to come.... #theendisnigh|
|Catch me here! http://www.mcbacomicons.com/|
|https://www.facebook.com/freerangecomics go here now to catch FB updates and whatnot.|
|Join us here as part of being a fan of Free Range! https://www.facebook.com/groups/meatlingbrigade/|
|Social Media and other fine messes|
|Did you know we're on Twitter?https://twitter.com/freerangecomics
I also post artwork here
|My first Father's Day. It's holiday we eat pancakes on and have for almost 40 years. Today I got to feed my baby pancakes of her own. It's a good feeling.|
|I don't normally post this soon after the last, but in light of today I made an effort. As someone who makes pretty awful comics, featuring lewd and often 'inappropriate' material, the idea that someone might kill me for doing it has never crossed my mind. That being said, my heart goes out to those who have lost today. To those gutless cowards who would kill someone over cartoons, do the world a favor and turn those guns towards yourselves next time. je suis Charlie|
|About a Girl...|
|So I'm not really posting this the day of, but I still want there to be a record here on my site... I can't express my feelings in better words than Joy. My little girl has brought me so much joy I can't believe it. Daddy loves you, Kaylee. |
|The beginning of the end...|
|So the Mayans were off... the Vikings didn't have it quite right either. Our offspring signifies the end of the world. Or at least the world as I knew it. I really don't know what to expect next. I have a great wife, a good home, a growing following (that's you Meatlings)... but this, man this! Feelings are flying all over the place, I know I'll love the kid, that's a given. Whether I mess it up and unleash the end of world....fingers crossed...|
|I was going to do a cartoon about the late Mr. Phelps. I had it planned out, it was simple an elegant. Then two things occurred to me: 1. Every other person will be doing the exact same joke or variants on it already and 2. I'm not wasting my time or talents on that miserable piece of shit. So you get dinosaurs. I'm sure he would've been pissed about them too as they are not looked upon favorably in his book. Burn in hell, Fred.|
|For new readers...|
|If you haven't found on Facebook yet, look here: https://www.facebook.com/freerangecomics Follow all our posts and share the crap out this. Thank you.|
|We gots a store!|
|Hey Meatlings. To make up for the loss of a comic strip last week, I atone for it by putting up a whole 4 page story I did recently with my buddy Patrick Ryan Bauer (a professional funny man no less). Enjoy.|
|Go there and support us Meatlings!
|A Convention we agoing...|
|Hey folks, just a reminder to follow us at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002345212689
And we will see you all at the Free Range Studios table at http://midwestcomicbook.com/
this Saturday and Sunday!|
|Yet another reason I have to be paranoid about the government taking away more from me. SOPA/PIPA can lick my balls and I hope the people that drummed it up get AIDS. I'll say what I want and put whatever material I want on my site, Massa.|
|I know it's late, but I hate breakin' up a story line. |
|Hey Meatlings! Gonna appearing at the Minnesota FallCon! Be there....(buy things...)|
|Woot! Great day today. Thank you to all the awesome people that stopped by today and gave me your praise and money. To new the folks that are stopping, welcome Meatlings. To our currents fan, thank you, thank you, thank you. Special thanks to Mr. Jack Argyle for being my meatling-about-con and to Sketch and Daniel for being thoroughly entertaining....|
|Chapter and Verse|
|In less than one week, I close a chapter to my life left open for too long, then as stories in real life happen to happen, I begin a new one. I know it'll be happier. Keep checking in our Facebook: Freerangecomics Pandora's Box
for updates on coming's goings. I'll let you all know how our wedding went. Filling in for me starting Wednesday until I get back will my good friend Sketch, who, really sir, thank you again. More of his work can be seen at www.stv-comic.com . Pleasant days and interesting times Meatlings...|
Again just want to remind you all that my friend Sketch http://www.stv-comic.com/ is covering my site until my pending nuptials are a done deal. Enjoy....|
|Ok PaBo fans, back from the dead and better off wed. Thanks again to Sketch and let's rock this toon!|
|For the first purely digital strip. Thanks again to Sketch for forcing me into the 21st century. Nerf herder....|
|Boys to Men|
|I remember the day I turned 18. I bought a $#!% load of lighters, some cigars, cigarettes, and porn. If I could've voted I would of done that too. Happy Birthday Chip. |
|Good to go and going strong!!|
|Wow! What a summer people... So ok, blog's fixed. Welcome to all my new meatlings that have stopped by.
For those of you tuning in, I've hooked up with a killer project http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1120283609/kingdom-of-loathing-comic-book-for-great-justice
Seriously, this is gonna be huge people.|
|She said yes!|
|I'm a clever man, not very original, but clever. Really I need to thank everyone for you support in making this possible.|
|To my girl on her birthday. Love you, Ami|
|Miracle of miracles...|
|Big things this week: My cousin had her baby yesterday. Congratz on that, another Meatling to add to my army I'm sure. Oh and I'll be signing and selling books at Convergence in Bloomington, MN. Hope to catch any of my Meatlings there!|
|Back and from CONvergence and wow... hell of and experience. I'd like to thank Dayna Jean for making this happen. I'd also like to thank Wyatt for his help (and the beer) and really, I'd like to thank the awesome people that stopped by and said hi and for your support. It's things like this that keep me and my site going. Thank you. |
So here's the deal: This week I'm going to do 3 comics with the VS. theme. The idea is that you'll have until the end of the month to cast your votes on who you think would win and I will draw the resulting comics. Got to love audience participation! Write your vote to email@example.com
Get on it and let's see who wins!|
|Exciting news meatlings, Pandora's Box Issue #1 is now available. Many of your old favorites, plus exclusively in this book, Pandora meets the Boys for the first time! The book is $3 plus some shipping. Write to firstname.lastname@example.org to place your order today!|
|Take some time with your dad today. Just leave the sheets at home.|
|Long Live the King...|
|I was truly saddened yesterday to hear that one of my idols (of which there aren't many) died earlier this week. I don't know what to say about Frank Frazetta that hasn't been a million times before and by much better artists than myself. Brilliant, stunning, masterful. His work is the gold standard in fantasy art. My father introduced his work to me at an early age and I've never looked at painting the same way since. We will miss you.|
|Don't Lose Faith|
|Just got back from Iowa and it's 'splendors'. The 'toon is almost done. I will post tomorrow. |
|I almost feel bad putting up this series. Almost. My best friend gave me the nugget of an idea to start with, but I still take all the blame for for the shear horror of it. I loved these games when I was a kid and still enjoy them now, however as an adult, you do have to wonder what kind of drugs game designers are on...|
|Hey Meatlings. I was out of town all weekend and I know I got my 3 in last week, but I missed one the week before. As such I will be posting an extra one this week. Look for it. Later....|
|So I'm taking a vacation. Beer and babes for me I'm sure, but to make sure I'm not leavin' you all hangin', I've dropped a couple of new toons for you all to enjoy until I get back. Later, Meatlings.|
|Rockwell, rock hard|
|All this week is my homage to one this country's greatest illustrator/painters. Enjoy.|
|Another year older....|
|I swear there better be something better on the F#@%ing horizon coming my way. Thank God for beer and boobs.|
|Glückliche Erde Tag|
Means happy earth day in German. ;)|
|Today's strip is based on an actual product. How traumatizing would it be to have the theme for Sponge Bob playing out of your kid's @$$? We live in a strange world... |
|Ok, I promise I'm done with the cheesy homages for a bit. Just needed a rest after a story line. |
|Running behind. Sorry folks. Just got a new computer and I'm still getting adjusted. Friggin' OCD.|
|Posted two tonight to make up for slackin' off. Enjoy. |
|Welcome Fresh Meat|
|I see that my readership has just about doubled in the past couple of months and just wanted to say welcome to the newcomers and of course thank you all for your continued support. Remember if you like it here, tell your friends. Its more souls for my collection...|
|I Believe in Yesterday|
|I spent a lot of time this holiday getting to watch home movies. I've spent a good portion of my life not looking back for a reason.
Very few things in my adult have been or will be as good as I had it. I miss so much. I miss my dog. I miss playing with toys and running around and getting to be silly. I miss having a whole half of my family being with in walking distance and I miss my grandparents.
I rarely look back, because I'm afraid that what I see in my past will always outshine my future.
In writing this, I hope that the people in my life know how a big a part of it they have been.
P.S. I running a little behind, but stick with me.
|Death by Democracy|
|When I was voting today I was reminded of an old joke. Goes something like this...
Three missionaries get caught by cannibals, and the cannibals throw them in a bamboo jail.
The chief pulls one of them out of the bamboo jail and says, "You have two choice...death or bunga bunga."
The missionary thinks to himself, "I don't want to die...", so he says, "I'll take bunga bunga."
The chief says, "Ugh. Bunga bunga."
The cannibals all start jumping up and down, grunting, "Bunga bunga! Bunga bunga!"
Then they pull down his pants, bend him over a log, and they all rape him in the ass.
They drag out the next missionary, and the chief says, "You have two choice...death or bunga bunga."
The missionary looks back at the first guy, who's in really bad shape, but he doesn''t want to die, so he says, "I'll take bunga bunga."
The chief says, "Ugh. Bunga bunga."
The cannibals all start jumping up and down, grunting, "Bunga bunga! Bunga bunga!"
Then they pull down his pants, bend him over a log, and they all rape him in the ass. And it's a lot worse for him, because of course it takes the cannibals alot longer the second time.
Then they pull out the third missionary.
The chief says, "You have two choice...death or bunga bunga."
The third missionary sees the other two guys in total agony, and says, "I couldn't handle that. I'll take death."
The chief says, "Ugh. Death by bunga bunga."
Either way you vote, your ass is still going to hurt. |
|Trick or Treat?|
|I missed my friggin' deadline last week. So to make up for it, I posted an extra this week. Not sure if it'll make up for it or make you want to call the authorities and me arrested for bad taste. Enjoy, Meatlings.|
|I'll Be Back...|
|I'll be on vacation 'til sometime next week. Be back soon, meatlings...|
|Back 'n Black!|
|Not really, but I'm back from vacation. So spread the word.|
|To Hit an Armor Class of 0...|
|Better late then never. Last week the creator of half my childhood and once a month on Sundays passed away far before his time. Gary Gygax co-created Dungeons and Dragons and gave me another outlet for my artist ADD. My whole life, my mind has been racing with ideas. It's like having a power surge and not enough places to plug in. Worlds to explore and characters to create, this game gave/gives me a hell of lot. I never got into sports, my social skills are sad, but I roll a mean 20 sider. Thank you Gary. |
|God damn I hate earning a living...|
|My schedule's been hectic, so I'm putting out a couple of toons I had taking up space in my sketch book. I hope you find them as awful as I did. |
|Hey fleshlings, it may be a couple of days 'til I post again. Just got a new computer and need to reinstall everything. Hang in there, you'll get your fix.|
|God even drawing this thing made my skin crawl...|
|Today's is my offical ('cause I never count the holiday ones) 200th strip. I'm so pleased with myself I'm gonna drink beer! |
|Time?! What Time?!|
|Just keeping you all updated. Schedules off again today (for me) so I'll post tomorrow. I figured it's been a while since I left anything in here, so I'll drop a reminder: I post 3 days a week. I wish I could set a regular day and time but since I have to work for a living (damnit) well I do it when I can. Anyway, thanks for reading my latest cracked-out story line. Stick with it, the pains almost over soon...|
|Happy Birthday Ma!|
|On this date 50 years ago, dinosaurs danced to disco, discovered electricity, and the woman who was to spawn this world's greatest conqueror(and believe me I'm working on it)was born. I wasn't born with much, but at least I had her. She is by far one of the only people on the planet I've ever been able to count on for anything and I pray that I'll be able to for another 50. Love you Mom.|
|Happy Birthday Big Ragu!|
|Happiness of birth dates and what not. There I go getting sentimental again...|
|Yeah, so appearently my e-mail provider in all this doesn't exist anymore? So if you feel like writing me you can try email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org Both SHOULD work but who the hell knows. otherwise email@example.com|
|Yah, the Good Times Roll|
|Dropping the toon early because I'll be out of town for a couple of days. Enjoy.|
|Good Freaking God!|
|I go to my local big name retail store. All I want is a tire gauge. I have to swim through a sea of mindless shopping drones to get there! What the hell is wrong with you people?! Why is it that when the "shopping season" hits every asshole on the planet crawls out the woodwork. You know what I want for Christmas? A gun. That big-ass one from Commando, chain driven, so I can re-create that awesome scene in Blackhawk Down but instead of Somalis getting mowed down it those fat-ass housewives playing tug-a-war for that Tickle-My-Ass-Elmo that little Jimmy just has to have. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?|
|As time goes by...|
|This goes out to all those of you who bless me by continuing reading and those that ,hopefully, will one day come. This has been unequivocally the worst year of my life. If someone were to tell me that this week, the week of my wedding anniversary, that I would (hopefully) be finalizing my divorce, I would have told to fornicate yourself. Personally, I've never known suffering like that, I'd say "this" but I do feel marginally better. It's sort like having a loved one die, but without the benefit of being able to enjoy the good memories. Instead, you have to force yourself to remember why this happening, and painfully relive all those awful moments in order to push forward. As much as you wish time would stop, it doesn't. There those I know that tell me it's for the best, that now I can go out and find a woman better suited for me. I have hard time believing that. Oh, I might make jokes and light of the situation, but the truth, the real truth is that I live every day in stark fear of this impending day. Not just of being screwed out more money and time, I'm used to that, but of having it be over. Change scares me. There few instances in life that change has turned out to be anything good. Being alone, in bed, at night and in my heart, my romantic heart, is a horrible change for me. So if I miss a day or the strips themselves aren't as good as either of us would like, please stick around. I promise to stay here, as long as you want to read. Being here, in the Box, we aren't alone are we? Thank you for reading, my Fleshlings.|
|Yes, I know I'm Late|
|Didn't have internet for a bit there. I'll catch you all up to speed. I promise.
|Filling in the blanks...|
|So to make up for not posting in so long, I'll be posting in the missing days. These ones are just some one-panel-wonders (now copy-writed!). More to come!
|Today's toon is in honor of the new Superman flick. It was far better than I expected. The only spoiler I'll give is... it didn't suck. I don't know, I got nothing. I'll finish up the storyline this week. |
|Hoody Frickin' Hoo|
|Back in business folks!
|So here I am stuck for ideas (no that's not why its taken so long to get here) and it came to me! The cheapest story line ever. I call it "Back in Black". Enjoy. *suckers*|
|I promise. I can't make today but tomorrow I'll post today's and the current to make for it.
|Tuesday, I had to say goodbye to my little nemesis and friend. It was very sudden and left me wishing I had spent more time with him. I know, I know. Sappy and sentimental don't always sell in a comedy strip about "Toys Behaving Badly" (hence forth copy righted, bitches!), but it felt right to do after I'd used him as the butt of my jokes. Until we meet again, lil' buddy.
|Being Homeless Sucks.|
|Well, for argument's sake, I do have a roof over my head. Anyway, do to some unfortunate events in my life, I'm gonna have to take a small sabbatical for the comics. I'll get back to them ASAP I promise, but I have to do some serious rearranging in my life. Pray for me.
|Today cartoon was an experiment. I work at an art center and was really bored, so I decided to have one of my artists write the toon you see before you. I thought it was funny. Anyway, thanks for doing my work for me Paul.
|Thank God They're Almost Over...|
|Now that the "Holidays" are almost over, I can get back to being miserable for other reasons! Yeah! I swear if I have to hear one more shitty pop star butcher another Christmas classic, I'm flying out to Hollywood to personally strangle the Christmas cheer right out of them. Here's a thought: if you hit the note, stick to it. Nobody wants to hear you show off and it only makes you sound like you're trying to sing through an epileptic fit. Anyway... I've posted all this week's toons for obvious reasons, MY convenience. Later folks, I've got some rum soaked egg nog to hit without the egg nog. |
|Introductions be Damned!|
|Now that you've read that somewhat lackluster welcome note, here's a less than adequate introduction! Not that this strip truely needs an introduction, being that if you continue to read it on a regular basis it's pretty selfexplanitory. They're toys, they behave in a sometimes funny, sometimes just down-right awful. She's a girl and we watch her suffer with having to baby sit them until they destroy the world. These jokes can be funny, akward, weird, and terrible, a by-product of a deranged mind. Why make a web comic when there are literally thousands upon thousands out there to chose from and most of you have chosen your favorites? I don't really have an answer for you, but you could do a lot worse. Every strip I've written has at least made me laugh and if I've gotten a chuckle out of it perhaps you will too. If you don't, READ IT ANYWAY! C'mon, would it kill you to go one measly little site day after day? No!! Well, screw you! What? No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it... Wait come back! Damnit.
I Love you Kim.|
|I Got Mail|
|I now have an e-mail addy that you can send comments or questions to firstname.lastname@example.org
I promise I'll try to get to those that write, but keep in mind I can't always get back to you.
And as long as I'm thinking about it, this site was made by a great gal and if you want a site like mine or any site at all go to her! RachaelMalberg@mchsi.com
'Til next time kiddies...
Oh and Happy Birthday Big Ragu!
|Let's Make a Deal!|
|Hello again my little flesh puppets and meatlings! So here's the plan: Once I've established myself as a comic strip icon (which of course you make possible through your support), that's when I start handing out the Kool-aid. What? No good? Ok then, let's just spread the word of great this strip is. If you like it and you should, tell a couple of friends. Eventually we'll have world dominance or at least a popular strip. I may do all the work, but you'll be a part of something greater... making me famous or just keep Pandora's Box ongoing.
'Til next time kiddies...|
| Please, Shoot Me.|
|Sweet Christ I hate the Holidays. Anyway that being said, this week's series of toons will be posted early so's I don't have to have deal with that on top of all the other crap that will be heading my way. Happy Freakin' Thanksgiving.|
|We're All Mad Down Here...|
|I bid you welcome. Please feel free to wander the grounds, but I must warn you...there things here you might find horribly humorous and pleasingly disturbing. Welcome to Free Range!|